As I gaze through the window of your world--
watching your lives unfold before me
from the outside:
What does it feel like to have a man say
"I love you"--and really mean it
To have him NOT want to walk away;
to hear the heartfelt proposal you've hoped for?
What's it like to feel a new, separate, life
move within you
or hear the cry of your own creation
and see your reflection in a child's face?
What is it like to have a man come home to you
who considers you his home---
more than the house?
to have someone willing to work his fingers to the bone
--just to see you smile?
What is it like to have an anniversary
that you share with another person; to be a part of an 'us';
and no longer just a me, myself, or I?
When you are scared --to be able to roll over
and find someone's arms to hide in
or cry in--and not be made to feel foolish for having needs?
I wonder if, when you look through my windows
if you ever wonder -- what it is to be confined
to a lifetime of solitude; a lifetime of longing--
--of unfulfillment. A LIFETIME!
Do you know what it is to ache for a child that will never be
as you stand cursing yours, for irritating you?
Can you comprehend the frustration of such a woman--
watching you disrespect your man--
your imperfect gift from God?
Some of us would settle gladly for imperfect husbands,
for spoiled-rotten, ungrateful children.
Some of us would be glad
to have the heartache of really living
and not merely existing.
These are things I wonder,
as I sit at home alone
watching my TV
and petting my cats....
~Joann Longton~
September 19, 2016
