Friday, April 27, 2012

Out of the Saltshaker....

       (Originally written a few years ago, but never sent out, I am posting this now, having rediscovered it this am)

     It's been quite awhile since I last blogged. I have been getting ready for a medical mission trip to Haiti and have mainly been communicating on facebook of late. Some of you may notice that, from time to time on facebook, my comments may run counter to what the prevailing majority of the commentators are saying. I have been 'scolded' for this at times, as some people do not understand why I don't simply remain silent rather than say something that might upset others.....I have been thinking about this the last few days, and asking the Lord to reveal to me if He is of the opinion that I should be quiet during such times as well. I surely do not wish to be argumentative just for the sake of argument. I want to be liked, as much as the next person. But I am a Christian. I am not perfect, and do not always live up to even my own expectations, let alone God's expectations of me. However, I am called to strive towards the goal of being one whom the world can come to know God through. Alot of the time, therefore, when I comment online, it is to insert into the conversation what God has to say on a given subject--because frankly few read their Bibles today, and honestly do not know what He says. So, when I asked the Lord yesterday to show me what He thought about my comments, you know what happened? I had the word "Salt" run across my mind......and I remembered that Jesus had said to His disciples, "You are the salt of the earth, but if the salt has become tasteless, how will it be made salty again? It is good for nothing anymore, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men..." Now, what is THAT supposed to mean???

     Salt is a substance that is used to stop the progress of decay. If we want to preserve our fish so that they do not spoil, we salt them, etc. Jesus said His disciples were to be ones in society who he would insert into the midst of the world to stop the decay around them. That happens all the time. When a Christian enters a room where just a few minutes ago a dirty joke was being told, usually, upon his entering, the conversation becomes more hushed, or stops altogether. Sometimes I have even had people apologize to me under such circumstances. I used to reply, "don't apologize to me, I am a sinner too"---but I gradually came to realize I shouldn't do that; I should just allow the Holy Spirit to convict them of their sin by my presence--and be grateful they recognize me as one who bears the Lord's Name....

      Along those lines, therefore, I have felt obligated as a Christian, to speak up online, when I have smelled the decay of sin in things people say. It doesn't matter the topic. I merely have tried to ingest the truths of the gospel into such conversations. It has definitely NOT always been welcomed. Please do not feel I am judging you if I ever add something to the conversation that stings a little. I only mean to tell you what God's Word says about it----and preserve you from a decaying path......

Heavenly GPS

 Life's plans are all in the Lord's hands.; and He doesn't always turn things out the way we expect.

I am in Texas--only I have not moved here. I am here on a 12 week leave of absence from work, to help care for my elderly parents. I have not found success in my job search here--nor do the kinds of LVN jobs here pay anywhere near what I am used to, or need to make to  properly support myself.  So the plan for now is to return home to CT the last week of June and go back to work there starting July 2. My sister will retire July 1 and begin to care full- time for my parents. I will continue to work and save money, and see what happens from there. 

In the meantime, life as my mom's caregiver has been much busier than one would anticipate.  I have rarely had a chance to sit quietly long enough to collect my thoughts, so have not written much to friends or family up til now. It is after 11:00 pm as I write--as everyone else is finally asleep. The quiet solitude is healing; I have needed it.

I'd like to say that I know how this story ends--but I don't. Texas is not home to me--despite my love of my relatives here. However, CT is also lonely since the majority of my closest family have moved away. As I age, it is probably wisest for me to live nearer my relatives---but without a good job opening up--I can support myself better in CT than in TX. I have a home in CT among friends and co-workers--but will they be there for me as I age? Probably not. So much of life is maleable.  So I turn to the only One who knows how things are meant to turn out, and pray--"dear Lord, please steer me in the right direction, so I don't miss the road I am meant to travel." I am comforted by the lines of a poem by Margaret S. Fellows--

"He shall come to meet me
at each turning of the way
from there direct my footsteps
lest I falter, go astray.
Unto me it is not given
all the details now to know;
'tis enough that He has promised--
and my heart cries, 'even so' ....(Matt 11:26)