I am in Texas--only I have not moved here. I am here on a 12 week leave of absence from work, to help care for my elderly parents. I have not found success in my job search here--nor do the kinds of LVN jobs here pay anywhere near what I am used to, or need to make to properly support myself. So the plan for now is to return home to CT the last week of June and go back to work there starting July 2. My sister will retire July 1 and begin to care full- time for my parents. I will continue to work and save money, and see what happens from there.
In the meantime, life as my mom's caregiver has been much busier than one would anticipate. I have rarely had a chance to sit quietly long enough to collect my thoughts, so have not written much to friends or family up til now. It is after 11:00 pm as I write--as everyone else is finally asleep. The quiet solitude is healing; I have needed it.
I'd like to say that I know how this story ends--but I don't. Texas is not home to me--despite my love of my relatives here. However, CT is also lonely since the majority of my closest family have moved away. As I age, it is probably wisest for me to live nearer my relatives---but without a good job opening up--I can support myself better in CT than in TX. I have a home in CT among friends and co-workers--but will they be there for me as I age? Probably not. So much of life is maleable. So I turn to the only One who knows how things are meant to turn out, and pray--"dear Lord, please steer me in the right direction, so I don't miss the road I am meant to travel." I am comforted by the lines of a poem by Margaret S. Fellows--
"He shall come to meet me
at each turning of the way
from there direct my footsteps
lest I falter, go astray.
Unto me it is not given
all the details now to know;
'tis enough that He has promised--
and my heart cries, 'even so' ....(Matt 11:26)
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